A Season of Change
“If we don’t change we don’t grow, If we don’t grow we aren’t really living.” – Gail Sheehy
As I sit here in the RV trying to think about what to write for my first blog post – typing and erasing, listening to two dogs snoring and a one year old (AHH!) who keeps waking, and typing and erasing, typing and erasing – I keep coming back to the thought of how my life is so incredibly different than it was just a few years ago.
If you follow me on Instagram you may know that I don’t consider myself a writer. While I have written more treatment plans and therapy notes than I could recall, the idea of writing out my thoughts and feelings about my life and this journey (and especially putting it next to Adam’s writing) for the world to see is pretty scary for me. But in the spirit of growth it is important for me to share my perspective on this adventure. So here goes nothing, or maybe I should say, so here goes something.
In a previous post Adam mentioned my ever so slight tendency to be a planner. Living in an RV is not exactly what I had planned – heck, this is not at all what I had planned for my life. The last handful of years of my life has been a season of change to say the least. Since we have started this adventure, many people have asked, “Have you always wanted to do this?” The simple answer to that is no. While I have always had this part of me that has desired adventure, the planning, responsible, rule following, non-risk taking part of me has always won out. When I met Adam a large part of my life plan had just recently imploded. I was not looking for a relationship. In fact, the rational part of my brain was seriously telling me now was not a good time for a relationship. For a while I had an internal struggle with my feelings until, one day, I was tired of fighting, reminded myself that I was capable of handling whatever the worst case scenario could be and decided to follow my heart. It was exciting and scary all at once, but I was happy, and really that was the most important part.
In many ways the decision to live life on the road feels similar. When Adam and I first started talking about traveling full time, it was just a fun conversation (at least for me!), something to dream about that wasn’t realistic. We moved to Texas knowing it would be temporary, maybe three to four years, with the idea of then maybe making the transition to full time travel. Our little one would be a bit older, and maybe would have a sibling by then and we sadly would likely no longer have our big, old George with us in the world making the dream of living in an Airstream more realistic. But shortly after our move the topic of full time travel would come up more and more, we found ourselves hanging out at RV dealerships playing house in Airstreams way too often and using the word “when” we are on the road instead of “if.”
Imogen was born and life was turned upside down for quite a while (sometimes it still is!). Motherhood had me really analyzing myself and my life (it still does!), and even though things felt so chaotic at times they also felt very stagnant. We needed a change.
I can’t really tell you the exact moment that Adam and I decided to take this journey now instead of waiting a few years. Given that it was a pretty huge decision you would think it would be etched in my memory but it’s not. Maybe that’s because instead of trying to completely plan out our next steps I surrendered myself to the idea that whatever was meant to happen would. I wasn’t sure it was the “right time” given that I was still adjusting to motherhood and that Adam had no prospect of a job that would allow him to travel full time, but instead of focusing on the reasons why it wouldn’t work I simply followed my heart and believed it would. There would never be a “right time.” If I really wanted to take the risk the only time that was right was now.
For me this adventure of living life on the road is not just about exploring beautiful places. It is about being purposeful with our life, being healthier, taking time to enjoy and appreciate the small things and the people who are important to me, reminding myself how to take care of myself while taking care of others and challenging myself to step out of my comfort zone while giving myself grace to do so. So while I haven’t always planned on or dreamed of living in an RV I have always planned on living my life in a way that allows and encourages me to change and grow. Now I have allowed myself the freedom to follow my heart and take a risk to do so. This is very much a journey that is to be continued.