We have been in Montana for the last few weeks – and it has me thinking a lot about how we define home. No, we have never lived here, not for longer than a few months anyway, but it’s the only state so far that has me daydreaming of a home without wheels.
I’ve called New Jersey, Colorado and Texas home but I think at times I used that term loosely.
New Jersey is the place I grew up and lived more of my life than not. Most of my family is there, the house I grew up in, lots and lots of great memories, and my love for good pizza, bagels, and a porkroll, egg and cheese with SPK. It took moving from that place that I always called home to learn that it wasn’t the home I was longing for, it didn’t make my heart sing.
Colorado is the first placed I lived that wasn’t in driving distance to my family, it is where I found myself divorced and where I found Adam. It is where I first discovered my love for the mountains. It is the first place where I truly felt like myself.
Texas is Adam’s home state. It is the place we chose to live so that Adam could take a job opportunity that would hopefully get us closer to a life on the road (and it did!). It is the place where Idgie was born and I became a mother. It is the place that really taught me home is more complicated than the building you live in or having the person you love by your side.
Now our home is our Casita and even though our space inside is small it feels safe and secure regardless of what is outside our door. It feels like love and family and challenges us to be better versions of ourselves for each other. It has reminded me of the importance of community and the importance of who and what greets you outside your front door.
Prior to traveling I probably wouldn’t have spent too much time thinking about how we define home because, well, home is obviously the place you live, right? But I don’t believe it’s that simple. A house is a place you live, or an apartment, or a trailer, or a boat, but what is it actually that makes some thing or some place home? And is that magic something(s) that transforms a dwelling or a city or state into a home the same for everyone? My guess is probably not.
For me, right now, home is –
– a place that makes my heart sing.
– a place I can relax.
– where my tiny family is.
– finding community and belonging.
-being loved and needed.
– feeling safe, secure and like my true self – a sanctuary.
– not a constant.
-not always just one place.
What is home for you?